Sunday, June 2, 2013


I like this video. My guess is that no one will show up though. Pussies need to believe that everyone bigger than them is on steroids. It's funny that the "Steroid Standard" keeps getting lower and lower too. Back in the 90s it was accepted that anyone (ANYONE!) who worked hard enough could acheive a 405 squat, 315 bench press and 495 deadlift without needing to use steroids. Now you're lucky to half squat three plates without some potbellied toothpick couch potato whining about how he could do it too if only he had your genetics and drugs.

 Do couch potatos even exist anymore? They're more likely to be hunched over a laptop than laying on a couch nowadays. We need to come up with a more modernised term.

 I weighed 135 lbs when I first started lifting weights. I've been getting accused of being on steroids ever since I made it to 140. That's how fuckin' awesome I am!

 Here's something I can't stand and don't even begin to understand. Why the fuck do modern barbell plates have handles molded into them? All it does is fuck everything up. If you can't lift 45 lbs fuck off. This is not the right hobby for you. Weight lifting is the one and only athletic endeavor that caters to the people who suck at it. And what's worse, these pieces of shit don't even enjoy it and they're the majority. Bitch all the time about how much they hate the gym, how hard it is and how everybody else must be on steroids and have superhuman genetics.

 There's a whole other line of stupid right there. I used to get beat up because of my "genetics." Now everybody wishes they had them because apparently I was just born ridiculously awesome. Fuck you!

 And fuck Planet Fitness too. That's not even a gym, it's a social support group for the physically retarded. Have you ever felt like you were being watched in the gym? Like everybody there was looking at you and judging you? There's a good 99.9% chance you were wrong. Nobody else gives a flying fuck what you're doing in there. Nobody but me. I was watching you and you suck! You should be ashamed of yourself. You're lucky I didn't skewer you with a barbell and lunge you around. I am the villian Planet Fitness was made for.
Here's me during my visit to Planet Fitness.
I wonder if I'll set off the Lunk Alarm.


  1. Glen I heard a rumor that if you took steroids you would have heat vision?

    1. If I took steroids I would effortlessly create a self-perpetuating, life-sustaining universe in only six days.

  2. That's one day faster than Chuck Norris would

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