Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Internet is crushing you.

I can't wait to see how apathetic, lethargic and self-absorbed our society is in 20 years. It's going to be great. We've got a bunch of clowns now who want to overthrow the government but have no concept whatsoever of how to govern themselves or even how a government works or why it exists. They want to abolish religion because of all the horrible things religious people apparently do, but have never even looked inside a bible, torah or qur'an and would never chance being caught reading one for fear that it would make them uncool. They don't want to be told what to do and yet they'll expect their own retarded demands to be bowed to simply because they "occupy" some space and bitch and whine for shit they don't even comprehend or deserve.

As it is now the majority of kids under 30 years old are what you call aliterate. That means that they can read but they choose not to. And I'm talking about books, not blogs. Web logs and social media sites like facebook, twitter and whatever else are so full of typos, spelling errors and overall grammatical languorousness that they can hardly be considered reading. Not to mention that they're all nothing more than the narcissistic ramblings of self-obsessed assholes (I don't consider this blog any better either). Well, that's why sooner rather than later, aliteracy is going to become straight up illiteracy. Books will be considered an outdated thing of the past just like cassette tapes.

I used to have this tape.

Attention spans will become so short that people will probably not even watch TV anymore and if they do they'll be more in tune with the commercials than the actual shows. Not that it matters because their fat, pumpkin-shaped faces will be glued to their hand-held media devices the entire time anyway. Pumping their brains full of the alternative reality / fantasy universe that is "The Internet."

This is going to be, quite possibly, the most decadent, weakest most lameass culture that civilization has ever produced. Anyone outside of it who wants something from it will be able to just walk right in and take it any time they choose.

Maybe you're wondering what my plan is to prevent any of this. Well, outside the realm of preparing my own children to (hopefully) thrive in it, nothing. I don't plan on doing anything at all. This world is not mine to change or to fix. I'm going to sit back and watch it all go to ruins and I'm going to say I told you so when the time comes. I suppose that makes me part of the problem and so be it. I welcome that, actually. I wish I could crush this whole planet under my fist. Eat it and shit it back out. Then walk away from it like it never meant anything to me in the first place.

I want to watch people starve because they never learned even the most rudimentary skills of self-preservation. I want to see mushroom clouds. Really, I just wanted an excuse to post that football gif, it's fucking hilarious.

Friday, May 18, 2012

I'm addicted to shadowboxing.

I find myself doing it constantly. It's good though. I'm slowly learning to pace myself through it. It's strange too that I'm finding I can get more power and snap into the more relaxed punching style. Relaxing while you box is one of those things that everybody "knows" but nobody really knows it until they've learned to do it through experience. That might be the toughest thing about learning to box. Reading about it is easy.

 Nowadays everybody is an expert on boxing theory. In practice though it's a whole other thing. You're going to lose a lot of rounds, you're going to get so tired that you can barely stand and you're going to sweat so much that at the end of a training session you can wring out your T-shirt like it's a wet washcloth. Very few people stick with boxing beyond the first few months. I see people come and go all the time. New people show up, typically in groups, and most of them are full of enthusiasm and untested knowledge. The lazy ones are immediately identified. When the rest of us are jumping rope, they're stretching. When the rest of us are jogging, they're walking. When the rest of us are shadowboxing, they're either standing still, chatting, or doing some kind of alternative fitness exercise. Wall sits or squats or something. Fuck them anyway.

I thought my years of strongman training and competition would be an advantage in boxing but it's not. It's almost a disadvantage. The added mass puts me a few weight classes above where I should be so all my sparring partners have a much longer reach than I do. The added power to my punches on the bag is okay but that kind of power fades quickly. Your power absolutely needs to come from technique first and foremost, and muscle second. That's probably why I shadowbox constantly now. I'm practicing how to throw punches like I'm cracking a whip instead of dropping a battering ram. My background in taekwondo is somewhat helpful but not much. The balance in the footwork is different. Also, while you can get a lot of power out of a taekwondo punch, it's such an overcommitment that you absolutely have to land it or you're screwed because there will be little or no time for a follow up. Great for breaking boards in the backyard but boards don't move around and they don't hit back.

The blocks found in taekwondo are almost useless. Positioning, footwork and head movement go so much farther than blocking does that there's very little comparison. And if and when you do block, it's a very small motion with the rear hand and then right back to your guard position and not an attack in itself meant to break your opponent's wrist or whatever. Those kind of blocks are another example of overcommitment. Chances are they'll miss anyway because punches come at you a lot faster in the ring than they do in a parking lot brawl. Not to mention an experienced fighter will be throwing combinations. You'll never be able to block them all and you'll open yourself up sooner rather than later. This isn't the Matrix. You can't recognize an attack and then launch that heavy a counter-attack before it gets to you. Not for very long anyway. Learn to keep moving, keep your hands up and your head down.

This guy has never lost a fight before. His blocking is phenomenal.
If you don't believe him, just read any of his youtube comments.

Stamina is way more important than strength when it comes to boxing. Any fighting sport really but I think particularly boxing. Without decent stamina you won't even make it through training, never mind sparring or ever competing. Even when you get to the point that you can work out without feeling like you're going to die, the ring is still exhausting. You need endurance to get through training, you need training to develop techniques and you need sparring to turn those techniques into skills. It all starts with building the stamina to get through it.

Shadowboxing is one of those exercises that you can do forever and I don't think it's ever too much. It takes a while before you can do it without wasting a lot of energy trying to make every punch a knockout haymaker. As your technique gets better, you can get though it using less energy and your shoulders build up to it. Once you're there, it's just refining that technique. Drill your footwork, drill your basic punches, drill your combinations, then let your imagination take over and pretend you're in a fight. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Shadowbox with nothing. Shadowbox with your sparring gear on (wraps, gloves, mouthpiece, headgear, groin sheild). Shadowbox with dumbbells. Don't shadowbox with just your wraps on though; that's lame. You don't need wraps on to shadowbox. There's no point to it and it identifies you as either a beginner or a phony. Put your wraps on when you're going to glove up and spar or hit the bag, otherwise don't bother. It's equivalent to putting plates on a barbell with the numbers facing out.

One side of this barbell is loaded right and one side is wrong. That's just the way it is.

Look at us with our wraps on. We're WARRIORS!

The coolest thing about shadowboxing is that it's fun. There are so many nuances of every basic punch to master and shadowboxing is one of the best ways to do it.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Broken Issues at The Corktown in Hamilton, Ontario on May 12, 2012

Here's part two: (blogger's being uncooperative now about posting the actual video).

I work with the singer and the drummer. This was a "Last Band Standing" competition for a lot of cash and a record deal. Broken Issues sold the most tickets and had the loudest crowd but the clowns who came on next still managed to win. I guess the judges wanted something less aggressive and more non-threatening. They're probably goofs anyway.