Sunday, October 4, 2015

Bruce Lee Stories

If you believe everything you've heard or seen about Bruce Lee, don't shit on anyone else' beliefs. As a matter of fact, go fuck yourself.

This is right when I gave him a wedgie that one time. 
I kicked his ass shortly thereafter because he got mouthy about it.

 I'll tell you a 100% true story about Bruce Lee. I ran across him in a Harvey's once and walked over to talk to him.
"What's up?" I asked him as I ate one of his french fries. "You're Bruce Lee, right?"
And he's like,"No," and he wouldn't even look at m
"Who's this?" I asked him, taking another french fry and gesturing to the broad he had sitting across from him.
"That's my side girlfriend. Look, we just want to be left alone."
"Oh yeah?" I took his old lady's purse, opened it up between my legs, farted in it and tossed it back to her, hitting her in the chest with it kind of accidentally but whatever. I took another french fry.
Fucker grabs me by the wrist before I can get the fry into my mouth and is all like "HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well BAM! I slapped his fucking milkshake right out of his other hand and said, "Motherfucker, do you know who the fuck I am?"
"Yeah, you're Glen." He was trembling a bit by now. I grabbed a good handful of french fries, shoved them in my mouth and got in his face.
"That's right, you little shit. And if I ever see you in Harvey's again, you're getting a fucking smack."
And I haven't seen him there since. And that's a true story. Add it to your collection.

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