Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sometimes I Can't Decide Whether I Should Shit At Home Or At Work

Dropping a deuce at work is great because there's nothing more primally satisfying than getting paid to produce a natural work of art, especially when you've had a good one baking for a while. You also never have to worry about conserving toilet paper and can use as much as you need.

With that being said, I think given the choice I prefer blasting one out at home. The Home Throne Advantage can never be overestimated. Especially when you're not running late for anything and have all the time in the world. I'm all about the home slice.

If you had enough non-perishable food at your disposal and ate while sitting on the toilet long enough, I wonder how long it would take before you were growing a never ending turd. Trying it with corn would be a neat experiment.

As much as I like rocking the bowl at home, I am curious, now that I think about it, about how much money I've made over the years pinching loaves at work. I'm too lazy to do the math though.


  1. If you're ever the last one out, consider leaving a top-shelfer in the ladies.

    1. At house parties back in my 20s I used to take the lid off the back of the toilet and point that tube that the water comes out of when you flush out just a little bit and then put the lid back on. After that, the next person who flushes will flood the bathroom and maybe even get squirted.