Sunday, June 8, 2014

Best endorsement for a lifelong fitness regimen EVER

Solitary Fitness is one of my favourite fitness-themed books. And I've read quite a lot of them. It's one I find myself going back and rereading at least once or twice a year. It's densely packed with knowledge, Bronson has a very funny writing style and his methods are effective. Provided you never got bored with it, his system of diet and exercise and overall philosophy on healthy living is one that you could follow for literally the rest of your life. Well into your old age.

How do I know this? There's no reason at all to take my word for it. I'm a well established moron. I don't even publicly proclaim to fucking love science so what would I know? According to the Internet I can't even read or write. Well, last month Charles Bronson himself gave us all the proof we should need.

He wrote Solitary Fitness when he was 54 or 55 years old. To be in the kind of shape he was in at that time, at that age, was impressive in itself. But just recently at 61 years old he got pissed off about the outcome of a soccer game, smeared himself with butter and fought 12 prison guards. Twelve! How many guys in their 60s, even guys who still work out, will fight even one guy at a time, never mind 12? Sure, there are tough old guys out there. I know plenty of them. And with this being the Internet I'm sure anyone reading this knows twice as many of them as I do and they're all three times as tough.

This is a guy who, back when he wrote Solitary Fitness, claimed he hadn't been in a fight in about 10 years and he was very proud of that. And since then there had been a group actually protesting to get him freed from prison. Whatever; I knew he was never getting out and so did he.

I say good for him for fighting those guards. It sounds like they broke a few of his ribs but that sort of injury is to be expected when walking into a fight outnumbered. We're talking about 12 men, armed and armoured, most of them probably less than half his age. Obviously he knew he was going to lose but he didn't give a shit and I for one respect the Hell out him for that and I don't give a shit that he's a criminal either. My best friends growing up were criminals. So he likes to beat the shit out of bullies and child molesters. Let him do it!

Anyway, if a 61 year old man who hasn't been in a fight in the better part of two decades can decide out of the blue to have a go at 12 guys whose job it is to babysit a building full of guys just as crazy as he is, if not more so, over his favourite soccer team losing a game isn't proof enough that his fitness regime isn't solid as fuck, I don't know what is.

Charles Bronson is awesome. Every knew diddler that comes inside should have to spend an hour locked in a room with him. Maybe even once a week for the duration of their sentence. I can't even think of a better way to let this great man pay his debt to society.

It sounds like the Insane Clown Posse knows how to deal with kiddie pervs too.


  1. Solitary Fitness was one of the first books on bodyweight training I ever bought. I actually had to send for in the UK because it was the only place to get it. I also still re read it. It's one of the few prison fitness books that are actually written by a real prisoner.

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