Thursday, March 31, 2011

My 16 minutes of fame are coming up soon.

Just a few days from now and then it's all over. For about the past year I've constantly had something to do with Wipeout coming up in my future. From filling out the application to being called for an audition to wondering how the audition went to being told I was going to Argentina and now waiting for the episode to air. This time next week though it will be all but forgotten about. This being Hamilton, however, I imagine there will be some backlash as far as drunk retards wanting to pick fights with me for being on TV but that's normal around here.
Kind of a pointless entry. Just an excuse to post the above picture, really. If I'm a self-promoting corporate whore then so be it.

To make up for the pointlessness, here is a picture of the "Ab Pavelizer:"

And here's a picture of Pavel Tsatsouline doing Janda sit-ups with his pavelizer:

I believe this is Andrea DuCane doing the same thing:

And here's my homemade version:

I've never used an actual Ab Pavelizer but as far as I'm concerned this set up works just as well.

I can do sit-ups all day long but the leveredge that this creates makes it very difficult to do more than a few at a time. You don't realize how much your hip flexors help with this movement until you try it with them turned off. It makes a big difference.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Because pencil necks are only for geeks

Deadlifts are good. Shrugs are good. Headstraps are good. Bridging is good. Isometrics are good. Manual resistance is good. You've got no excuse for having a skinny neck. Unless you're a geek.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I wonder if I can beat up Chuck Norris

I've got an idea for the next great reality TV show. Every week I'll fight Chuck Norris. Sober the first week. Week two will be after six beers each. Week three will be 12 each. Week four we each drink a full case, and so on.
Sober I think he might still have a little something left in him and he might actually have a chance at beating me. However, with a six pack in each of us that might, at the very least, even us out because I don't think he drinks very much. At 12 each I'll just smash him right through the fucking floor because he'll be drunk as fuck and I'll just be getting warmed up. After 24 beers apiece he's got no chance at all. He'll be wasted at that point while I'll be rocking a half-decent buzz. I might even be able to knock him out with just one shot this week. Or put him down with one anyway, then I'll just drop the knees on him while he wonders where he is.
After week four it gets tricky. I'm not sure how many more beers I can drink past 24 because I don't ever count them. I do know I can keep going though but I doubt old Chuck Norris has got the endurance. Maybe we'll start adding shots to the mix after that. Or joints. Or both. I'll also be so fucking drunk that I'll probably want to start smoking cigarettes again. How are we going to factor that in?
Needless to say, you can see that this show is still only in its early development stages.


Thursday, March 10, 2011

I'm Surrounded by Morons

A lot of guys like to say they're surrounded by idiots, but I actually am. I'm up to my neck in stupid.

That chipmunk is also sick of dealing with dopey assholes.